We live in a traumatic generation and I cannot pull myself off this hook because I am part of it big time. My mind is filled with both the past and the future and they both want a space in my big head. 

During Christmas time there reached a point just before my birthday the memories of an individual who used to abuse me emotionally started flying above my head. It was like hot steam from a hot boiling pot. My anxiety went so high that I had to stop and get some breath. The thought of being tracked and being policed with high-intelligence interrogation drove my heart to a speed of a thousand miles per hour. I started sweating. 

Watching a series the actor in one of the episodes reflected upon her mother’s life and she said, “Now I know why mom was up many nights. Her pillow was filled with her past. Filled with things that hurt. Now I get why she slipped out to have cigarettes so often.” (Who are we running from S1:E3 – on Netflix)

Reflecting upon life, we live in a traumatic generation. A generation that sleeps on pillows packed with the past. A generation that eliminates anything that’s not for them, anyone that is not standing with them.

This generation hates the thoughts of those who terrorised them. A mention of their names would drive them crazy. Some people are dead in their lives. But these people are not actually dead. They kill them in their mind so that they can make it through another day or another month without thinking about them. They consider these terrorists to be parasites. Parasites that thrive to sack life from others. 

But on the other hand …… someone has to be responsible for this trauma. Somebody has to be responsible for this pain, all these internal issues we have to deal with over and over again. These things we have to heal from. Someone has to be responsible for all this. 

But whether or not they own up to them being the cause of this, of this pain, this hurting. It is our responsibility to heal from it. To make the right decisions whether they take responsibility for the hurt they caused you or not. You still have to heal.  

Both the past and the future linger in my head. Some of my past have made rooms in my head and I also wonder where the future will occupy. 

#bloganuary2024

Daily writing prompt

Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why?

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