By kaka Lucas, 15/10/2022

The second week of October is done, and the third week is upon us. October will be over in short order. It will then be November, then December …then 2022 will be only a memory.

I am learning to use the Coaster buses and taxis to move around from one place to another in Kingston. The history of public transportation in Jamaica is a story by itself. It could well be a book. But I will tell you the little I know about this sector and my experiences using public transportation.

Every taxi you go in that has seven-seats or four-seats, it is guaranteed that there will always a doubling of the number of passengers. The driver would prefer a slim person like me to ask them to small up themselves so that they can add one more person, or two if possible, between you and the next person. Every time one passenger gets in they will say aloud, “one and we move”, but when you get in the car you may find it’s only you and yourself, or you and another person who may actually not be a passenger. The driver will then go out and continue screaming at the top of his voice, “one and move, one and move”.

To take the Coaster buses is just something else, and I have had interesting experiences with them too. They are never full, even when the last person is at the doorstep. The front seats are only for ladies and no man ever sits next to the driver (in the taxi too – as a man, better find yourself in the trunk). In a row where there are two seats and a single seat opposite each other, an additional seat is always available on the aisle to carry two additional persons. One row is supposed to accommodate at least four persons, but with the Coaster buses from Spanish Town to Half Way Tree, it holds five persons or more, depending on your size. The sweat after a long day at work or school and being so closely packed next to each other…. no wonder colds and flu never end.

Life is just like these modes of transportation. We pack it to the capacity that we are comfortable with. Sometimes we overload, other times we carry less. No matter what the choice, do not bring people into your life just because you have to. Bring men and women who add value to you.

Today I attended CK’s funeral, she was a friend I met a few years ago while I worked as a youth coordinator. My eyes surveyed the people in the crowd and I saw many persons with whom we worked as a team. That added a smile to my face.

The preacher was on point by reminding us of the many times we ask WHY when bad things happen to good people and people we love. He reminded the crowd to never be caught up in ‘WHY’, for why will remain a mystery.

In my big head, thoughts were flying from all angles.

Why do we make friends? Why friends for any matter? Do I need them? Do they need me?

Some people come into our lives and turn out to be family….. A post on Instagram read, “Family is anyone who loves you unconditionally.” CK was a family member to many people. The church was almost packed with people from all over. She was more than a friend. She built relationships with people she encountered.

Sometimes we make friends just to use them, and after we have finished whatever we befriended them for, we drop them and flash them forever and ever.

Some other times, people come into our lives and use us in the name of friendship. Just because of what we could offer at that moment. When all is done they disappear just the same way they came from nowhere.

Truly this is not what friendship is about. It goes far beyond what caused the link-up. It goes way further from the occasion that brought both of you together. Whatever entanglement led you two to come together may matter, but what matters most is the relationship you keep around that friendship. Friendship is a result of a relationship that is built over time. Friendship is shielded by healthy relationships.

I met this woman whom I didn’t know from Adam; my spirit picked her, and even though we didn’t see each other as often as we should, the energy that popped out when we met was one that could push a rocket to the moon.

As I sat there and enjoyed the celebration of this life well lived, I gave thanks for having met CK, the supper energy she had, and her love for her faith.

A poem by Jamie Anderson was written in the booklet, and it just summed up everything about a true friend grieving …….

GRIEF I HAVE LEARNED IS REALLY LOVE,

Its, all the love you want to

give but cannot. All of the

unspent love gathers up in the

corners of your eyes, the lump

in your throat, and in the

the hollow part of your chest.

Grief is love with no place to go.

Why do you make friends?

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