By Seminarian Lucas J.

Have you ever wondered why people die and go away, vanish away from us just like that? Death and dying surrounds us, yet many of us see it as an uncomfortable taboo subject. In my African culture to be specific, we didn’t speak of death and as young people we were not allowed to go near the dead. The reality remains that death is real. Regardless of race, religion, geographical area, or time period, every human has to wonder about death, it is the one fact of life that unifies us all. Death walks side by side like a shadow awaiting it’s time to take possession of us. What is death? Death rarely gives us a warning. “I am coming get ready” neither “hey I am here lets go”. It just come and something happens and others are left hurt, distressed and or traumatized.

Death is a cruel and heartless enemy. So cruel! All of us deal with death at some time or another and if you haven’t, tighten your belt because it will shake you good, actually the one that will shake you may be at gym training to strike in full force. Receiving that bad news first of all is like a sharpen sword. Being present as a loved one dies is even worst. I do not know how to explain the pain. To move forward after all that follows death takes courage. People struggle to move forward after the death of loved ones.

I am battling with death. Last November when my friend Ryan was killed, all the deaths I previously experienced flashed across my mind and heart. It was a very painful trip down memory lane. I remembered when uncle died, and my aunt fell into a depression, and she too died two years after that. Grandma died after I flew to Jamaica and it hurts to know I was not near to lower her lifeless body in the grave. I visited home and saw everybody in 2017 and there it happen again, second grandma died just a month after I left home, I cannot explain how I felt. If I list deaths I have had to swallow bitter saliva for not attending funeral, maybe a book could be published.

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Attending the funeral takes the most courage. It was extremely painful as we drove to bury Ryan my little brother. The trip from Immaculate Conception to the grave site was the longest I have ever experienced. On the way people were along the road, young and old, those who knew him and those who heard how he died. I sat in my car as my friend drove me and other friends chatted softly at the back seat. We were all calm on the surface but my heart remain as heavy as it was the moment truly realized that Ryan was no more. I was mourning for this young soul that was robbed of its life before it even enjoyed two of its decade. The children who attended the funeral didn’t understand why the crowd hushed as the hearse led us to grave site. A lot of people may have come just for excitement as our society has created funeral to be. A lot of people still do not understand we lost a young man that was loved, a cheer giver to many souls. While the crowds was a happy one, with smiles on their faces, taking pictures dressed eloquently, my world was empty and alone, my world was ending with questions of why Ryan, why this  young boy, why my friend? I will really miss him.

Do not get me wrong, death is not bad, it is not evil. Like bitter herbs it has its good side of it. Yes, I am saying death is good. As the song goes, “In heaven there will be no paying rent.” It is a place of total peace, no struggles no trouble. Death is like maternity room where children a born. A man who is present while another is dying is so blessed to see transition from one life to the next. Like a husband who witnesses his wife giving birth, while a friend is dying it is almost the same feeling, though this one, there is separation physically. During this separation, we cannot grieve like pagans (1 Thessalonians 4:1-5:25). And on the other hand, in this time of Covid19, we cannot weary ourselves with worries. What I have learned through my experiences with it is that its back is worse than its bite, but even then while facing death it is not a moment to say good bye but it is a moment to say see you later. It is not time to say in Spanish, “adios” but rather “Te veo mas tarde” because ………….

I AM NOT ALONE! This is the good news. Death does that to those left to mourn after it robs them of their loved ones, it wants them to feel alone because few understand the pain, the loneliness it brings, the ‘miss-ment’ and the frustration of not seeing the other. But do u know they are smiling while you are weeping. They are in that place where there is no more pain, where God is believed to be, the God who understands our grief. The Holy book tells us that the pain of death is caused by a world full of sin. God is full of love.  He loves us so much that He created a way to overcome death. It was not easy. It cost God his beloved one, His only begotten son, Jesus the Christ.

HOPE IS THERE! My price was long time paid for, price of my sins and everyone’s sin. There is no need to be sad or lonely. The chains are broken. The curse was broken when Jesus rose from dead. Jesus made it possible to have life, everlasting life after death. Nothing, will change the fact that people die. But, death does not have to overpower us. We can begin to live again because of our relationship with Jesus.

The healing of the heart BEGINS WITH A PRAYER: a prayer to your friend Jesus. “Dear Jesus, please help me find my way forward again. The grief I feel is real. I am hurting so much (speak as you feel it)! I need to find new life in You. Please forgive me for the wrong things I have done in my life. I choose to follow You. Thank you for breaking the power of death over my life. Help me to find hope and joy again. In your name I pray. Amen.!

By Brother Lucas