• By Kaka Lucas, 11th September 2022.

“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” – Paul Boese

Apologizing is a bitter tea to swallow. None of us want such a cup of tea but many of us demand it from others.

No one has ever woken up excited to apologize to someone. It takes time; it takes a lot of energy and it takes an honest, genuine, and intentional person to come back and say, “I am sorry” I did wrong.

Saying “I am sorry” builds back and maintains relationships that are ready to be trampled underfoot.

Saying “I am sorry” allows us to go deep inside ourselves and do self-reflections.

Saying “I am sorry” motivates us to positively change our approach in the future.

A good “I am sorry” is about looking inward; it brings us to carefully consider how our actions affect others.

A good “I am sorry” pushes us to pause or even come to an immediate stop to prevent such occurrences from happening again.

Saying “I am sorry” is a habit each one of us has to consistently practice. It is a skill we practice daily to master. It is a road we have to walk every day to reach our destination.

Going back and saying “I am sorry” is the language we can teach our children to avoid many wounded-ness happening in our society.

But above all, accepting “I am sorry” from those who wrong us, welcoming them as the ‘father’ did, sets us in a pyramid. We become another ‘God’ to them by showing mercy.

Saying “I am sorry” is possible only if you call yourself for a meeting.

If we Jamaican men and women, young and old, could learn to say “I am sorry” then this could potentially reduce the number of killings and our prisons would be less populated.

“Forgiveness is not a matter of exonerating people who have hurt you. They may not deserve exoneration. Forgiveness means cleansing your soul of the bitterness of ‘what might have been,’ ‘what should have been,’ and ‘what didn’t have to happen.’ Someone has defined forgiveness as ‘giving up all hope of having had a better past.’ What’s past is past and there is little to be gained by dwelling on it. There are perhaps no sadder people then the men and women who have a grievance against the world because of something that happened years ago and have let that memory sour their view of life ever since.”~ Rabbi Harold S Kushner