~ by Kaka Lucas, 9th June 2022

A coffee date can be one of the most refreshing moments in life – the chilling vibes while sipping a cup of coffee. Having coffee together can also be the best moment to learn from your date. While on my date yesterday, I couldn’t stop thinking about the presentation I would be making during my radio program.

1. Examine the one speaking, not who is speaking
2. Listen to what is said and what is not said
3. Listen with your heart and with your ear

… and here I was listening to this young lady.

We all are victims of not listening. Aren’t we?

Our world is suffering from people who can’t listen because they are busy most of the time, either watching the speaker, trying to figure out what cologne they used, how they dressed, their body type, or oftentimes we are listening to hear if they are talking about us, especially if we are known to them. We find it hard to listen because we have fixed expectations in our minds of what we want to hear, and we get frustrated when we do not hear it. It has reached a point in our lives where we carry headphones all over so that we can listen to what we want to listen to without the person next to us being disturbed.

On Thursday, I got a chance to have a coffee date with one of my sisters whom I have not seen for a few years since she migrated to Canada to complete her studies. We went to Café Blue, one of my spots where I chill when I want to be by myself, when I want to write, do an online exam, or when I want to chill with a friend, and especially when I want to sip my coffee while scrolling through my social media pages.

We were there for three good hours and what I did mostly was to listen to hear and to share my thoughts. Driving home, I was contemplating every story we shared and the vocation I am called to live for the rest of my life. I am called to LISTEN to the people of God. Listening has become a big part of my life and I love it. What I am praying for is that I will have the courage to walk with those I listen to and not tear them down because of their weaknesses or exploit them because of their strengths.

Looking at the life of the One we are called to emulate, Jesus …. I see a man who listened and had dialogue. He wasn’t just there, or he didn’t just engage people because He had to. He Listened and engaged in listening because He loved, not listening, but the one He was listening to. NOTE the word JUST! To me …. ‘just’ is defined as an unengaged and unbothered spirit in this statement. I don’t want to say ignorance, but it may also sound so when someone is just there, and you are here talking your spirit out to them. As we have read, He asks many times, “what do you want from me” and then he listened to the response. Instead of telling His followers who He was, He presented them with this question, “who do you say that I am?” Jesus must have had a Jamaican Caribbean vibe; He was straightforward with whatever he wanted…. He asked Peter, “Do you love me?” … just try to imagine the face of Peter when this Man asked him, ‘do you love me’ three times! At the same time, Jesus was compassionate, and this also made me understand that compassion is not all about feeding the street people, clothing the naked, and sheltering the homeless. Jesus listened carefully, attentively, and intentionally to the Canaanite woman (Mt 15:21-28) and his dialogue with her led her to appreciate her faith as my sister did by the time we finished our coffee. In our world today, in our generation today, many of us long for someone to listen to us. I will use the word “just” in a positive way here, “Just listen”. Like Jesus, who became a very good role model for us to listen to and dialogue the way He did in the story of Him and the Samaritan woman (Jn 4:1-42). He never shied away from walking with the sinners and he stood up for them the way he did with the woman caught in adultery.

Listening can be fun and educative. There is joy in not only listening but also walking with the one you are listening to (I am intentionally praying for this grace). But to reach the fullness of this grace the process of listening begins by intentionally paying attention to the one we are listening to, but above all, to those that are neglected, forgotten, and marginalized in our society. That means taking the time to listen to those pushed aside not only by the society, but also the church. Just like Jesus who left the ninety-nine sheep to go searching for one that was lost, so should we who emulate Him. Again, I say we must:

1. Examine the one speaking, not who is speaking
2. Listen to what is said and what is not said
3. Listen with your heart and with your ear
   ….. to those who are experiencing rejection and exclusion from their families, parishes, and their society. This is one of the calls of Synodality.