Last weak I sat in my little office and groaned to God from deep within, ‘God have mercy on me, hold my hand once more, pull me up one more time Lord, make this cup pass if it is your will, hold me back to myself father God. I am weak, I am worn out, I am really really tired, frustrated and at the edge, carry me, bring me with you because I am not strong’. I was really in a “Bermuda Triangle” but I couldn’t stop calling that name above all other name, because I had no one to call and no where to get strength from.

 

Lyne Ngugi in her show “Tales of Wanjiku” always ask her interviewers, “what makes you strong, what keeps you going forward/moving?” This question torments every time I hear it me because I actually not sure if I am strong, but I also think I am. Every time I look behind and see how far I am coming from I wonder, how did I make it to here? It amazes me and at the same time it scares me.

 

What makes me strong is listening to other people tell their stories of victory from low to high. Lynn has this program that I love watching every time I am faced with challenges. It reminds me that there is God in heaven who always answers our prayers.

 

I have strong connection with my family, and up to date my mother don’t know I talk to some relatives that are motivation to me. They consider me the only family member that talks to all and yet they don’t know they are my very strength. My very mum, and others who took her part in foreign lands, my sisters and brothers. No stronger pillar to lean on than them.

I love music, reading books and watching nice movies. These along with a nice meditation or yoga makes me come back double strong. I have found different kind of strength in books and stories of people written in books, blogs and articles. If you want strength, different kind of strength, mental and sometime physical strength, turn to reading culture.

I have friends that have turned to be like my family. So I call them siz, or bro and I mean it as they do. They make me want to keep on pushing, they make me smile when I don’t want to. They are just the very people I need now and always.

 

I have unknown friends to me, we meet on social media and have build a bond that seems as if we met 10 years ago, I call them ghost friends. Men and women with purpose of life, young and old of different nationality. I really rate them as Jamaican would say for some of them are my daily strength givers.

 

It takes trust to have this kind of booster. Trust that is built over time.

I pray and I know my faith in God is my forever dose of strength. There are many times am at the edge and when I’m almost to throw the towel, He, the Mighty one, the God of our father just acts in a way the leaves my mouth wide open. Then and there I am reminded, “a Him the boss, Him run tings” my strength comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth.