By -@kaka Lucas, 8/25/2021……… My host asked me “how was the night” … I went ahead to answer him, “the night was dark!”

It is one thing to feel well-rested, but it is another to actually sleep well. For the past 8 weeks I couldn’t sleep well, I could not turn my brain off, especially at night.

Song writer Christopher Martin wrote a song stating that we should not let anyone steal our joy. “Life is too beautiful, my friend, hold up your head and come again. No, let nobody drain your energy, life can get lonely, but sometimes we need nobody.”

Knowing what steals your peace and intentionally saying no to it …. Those things, those people and those moments that forcefully want to take up better space in our hearts and minds is a great move in life. People, media, an item of technology or just a negative thought that keeps playing ‘soca’ in your mind, that’s a red flag to your peaceful sleep.

Yes! Even though we are mind, body, and soul. Sometimes the peace of our hearts can be thrown off the road by our very self.  It is good to be mindful of every move around and within us.

In life it is hard to be in the hands of a narcist. Even though life situations may create comfortability while they hold your hands around….it will not be a sweet ride…. your mind will never be 100% in peace.

On the other hand, we live in a world where 90% of our time we are looking for happiness. We miss peaceful sleep,  little moments full of wonders, waking up, walking alive on Earth full of miracles. It is so funny how many of us are more than Olympians, we run all over as if there were some better places to get…and we miss precious moments to be peaceful. There is a calling each of us are called to respond to. Every day, every hour, every minute of the hour, but we are rarely in a position to accommodate that calling. We are occupied with many things…and some other time we occupy ourselves with those things to ignore what really is happening.  Listening is art that is missing in our world today, where our hearts and mind are full of noise then we cannot hear the calling. It is these things that steal our peaceful sleep.

The summer of 2021 wasn’t an easy one, but I am grateful it has come to an end in a very peaceful sleep.

It was decided I will travel to the countryside for some time off the city for two weeks. The morning before the trip was a toxic one, full of threats and anxieties that I could not control personally. But arriving where I was to go, sharing dinner around a table that was not just full of food but also full of laughter and honest sense of humor, that night getting into my room I just fell asleep and not until morning 7am I felt myself. During the meal the following day my host went ahead to ask, “how was your night?” and jokingly I answered, ‘my night was very dark’. Yes! It was dark, I had closed my eyes and slept like a dead man, but to be honest, it was the best sleep of my summer for I had no worry someone was watching me from a camera stack somewhere in the dark corner …or worried what the next email, text or call would be about.  

Thinking of it now 3^rd day of my stay…. I am grateful for the mindfulness…I was aware of my surroundings that evening and I was grateful for that, and for that reason, I slept well. Without mindfulness, we can be dragged away by many things. Sometimes we are pulled away by regrets, sorrow concerning the past, the present and what the future may bring.

During those sleepless nights I recall, I revisited old memories of mistreatment, only to suffer all over again and again the pain I had already experienced and was healing. The bleeding was fresh. For sure it is easy to be caught up in the prison of the past for I did hang around there for quite a long time.

Many times, I felt like throwing the towel during the summer, I wanted to go home to see my mum and change my profession, but I remember, the cross hurt. He (Jesus) went through it all, the pain from the nails and the thorns. The whips that shredded his back and flesh that was skinned off his shoulder by the cross. He gasps for oxygen not like Froid but the position he was put to hang on the cross, He gasped and cried out to His Father God as he breathed His last. We all cannot deny He went through rough pain; the experience is incomparable.

But what makes this occasion more meaningful, is that He did not run. He did not roll his eyes and call thunder to strike his persecutors. He went through it all, He lived in the pain. He offered every bit of pain for me and you.

It’s time for me to do the same…… There were moments during this summer I thought about giving up…but I trusted in Jesus so much that I didn’t want to fail him after all he has done for me. Many times I did question my faith.  Other times I did question my love for him…even sometimes I did wonder if I am where I was to be. Yes! I doubted my worth and my ability but still Faith connected me to the two worlds between me. I did stand my ground, “Jesus I trust in you” and in return I know he was like “yes my son, I believe in you”, …… he must have been shaking his big head, bright face full of love.

And for that, I had peace that the world could not give, I slept peacefully until the morning and for two weeks He spoke to me, and I listened to Him.