by – Kaka Lucas (7/5/2021).

This semester has been among the hardest ones. Dealing with depression, the frustration of a corrupt system, death in my family, struggle to love and build my relationship with God, staying focused on my call and dealing with my very self.It’s been a rough road and I am grateful it’s coming to an end in a week’s time.This week on Thursday the gospel was where Jesus was telling his disciples, ‘Peace I give to you, the peace I give to you, not as the world gives do I give…”.It threw me into thoughts, deep thoughts of were really this peace Jesus was talking about. Violence is increasing in hundreds locally and internationally.Racism of all kinds even in places you cannot imagine. Where is this peace when a man just makes another man suffer because of the difference they may be having colour, background or religion? Tell me where this peace is. I thought 2021would be a better year for me, with my graduation coming, my ordination and vising my family after five years in my mission. But no sir! I was welcomed in a year where I don’t yet have personal flight devices yet but I do have to adhere to some strict social distancing and sometimes 24hrs lockdown in order to flatten the curve on a worldwide pandemic.The ride is getting wilder. At this point, we are all affected and impacted bycovid19 in one way or another. My brother died and I could not travel. Summer is coming and I cannot travel for vacation. Shut-ins are calling for someone to visit and here I am I cannot give a hand. There is a lot going on. There is a lotbeing said, shared on social media, tweeter, Instagram, Facebook and evenWhatsApp….and it feels like the most impossible task to try to speak anythingof value to people as we look at navigation these times.We all have to spread our hands, we all have to help each oth er especially as we try to be uneasy about this pandemic affecting our communities. I am here to offer but my humble few thoughts as I also navigate my very life that is covered by painful moments. It is my sincere hope and prayer that as we carry the crosses of this pandemic God’s peace will rain within us within the uncertainty: Not to Be Ok is Okay!Hard phrase to utter. This semester has been something else. There are very real and deep feelings that come with the weight of the phrase “I don’t know the time limit I will keep you here” and on the other side “worldwide pandemic” lockdown and curfew. These feelings are real, and it is a reminder that these feelings are absolutely valid and warranted. With the very fluid and rapidly spreading dynamics that are changing every given hour, we are well within our rights to not be well. This whole situation is not normal, so we should not feel shame for feeling out of sorts.There are a lot of people out there hoping this time will help us be more productive. Influencers on social media are selling us their content, pushingtheir quarantine-friendly workout routines, crafting pre-determined schedulesfor your day, and giving you the low-down on how to use this time at home tokick off a YouTube channel. If this helps you stay distracted and/or avoid becoming lethargic during your extended time at home, don’t let me stop you from doing it. But be sure to leave room for you to feel all the things without feeling bad about it, and make space for others to do the same.If you feel anxious, that’s 100% normal. If all of these developments are stressing you out, you are not the only one. If you’re experiencing worry but are too nervous to admit it, join the club. If you’re scared, uncertain, overwhelmed,concerned, any or all of the things, at different times, or all of them at once —hi, welcome to the human experience, it’s good to have you here (Fr. Shieldswould say that). We all will bear this cross differently, but we ought to remember the cross is heavy and the struggle is real when the cross irritates one shoulder changes the position and put it to the next shoulder. The last thing I would want for you is to think that you are any less faithful or any less trusting of God just because you’re having a difficult time under the weight of it all. Itis okay to question God, talk to His ask him where is the help he promised to provide.Smart move – acknowledge Your AgencyAt times like these, everything feels so far out of our control and we are so much more aware of our helplessness — two things that tend to contribute to our anxieties. But it is important to recognize that we have not lost our agency.There is still so much that we can mindfully and intentionally do to remember that we can do this hard thing of navigating uncertainty. Being grateful is one of my way out of my sad self.What am I already doing that claims my stake in the common good? For starters, our obedience to recommendations of social distancing and heightened hygiene practices is a decision that is under our control. Though there are lots of things in place to ensure that we are making the right decisions here, these actions are still very much a choice we each make personally and as a community. It is all in our hands….use it.We’ve got the whole world in our hands even when everything seems to be spiralling out of your reach, you still have control over yourself and what you choose to make of these days. How can I move forward, one step at a time and one day at a time, through this time? Where can I act personally, where can I support communally, in helping the most vulnerable while still remaining safe? The ways you choose your health and the health of those closest to you, the way you decide to be intentional with your schoolwork, the way you choose to stay rooted in the community by spending time with friends virtually, the way you choose to look out for those who are less fortunate in these circumstances by donating to a local food bank, the way you choose to love your family, and the way you choose to care for your home and your personal space… all of these and more are wrapped up in that.Yes, there are and will be lots that are out of your hands, out of mine. But let’s step back and remember: anything we choose to do, big or small, is crucial in our mission as disciples to care for the least of these, to love the most vulnerable, and to choose to share the love and peace of Christ even in a crisis.With Open Heart Welcome PeaceI thought 2021 was the year I would graduate and get ordained by the end of the year. But naaa! ‘someone’ else saw it worthy to hold me back and claim it the will of God to remain here without exact time for me to be here. SAD!Now I won’t even claim to know what’s coming in this summer, but I am sure I will find moments when my space feels too small. When my family members begin to feel like a lot, with their dragging me what is happening. When everything will feel repetitive. When I will grow tired of this and do not know what to do with myself. Anxiety thrives in these kinds of environments. But peaceis ours, my Rafiki. Let’s claim it! The great gift of our God is that peace is offered to us freely, at any moment. We don’t have to grasp, we don’t have to desperately reach — but we do have to actively with an open heart and mind welcome it.Peace can be welcomed when we make a list of things we feel grateful for.Peace can be welcomed when we listen to songs that soothe our minds. Peace can be welcomed when we deeply breathe in and slowly breathe out. Pe ace can be welcomed when we offer up a decade of the Rosary for health in our world.Peace can be welcomed when we do one kind thing for a parent or other older family member in your house. Peace can be welcomed when we spend a few minutes reading Scripture. Peace can be welcomed when we FaceTime a friend and learn a TikTok dance together. Peace can be welcomed when we step outside and take a walk. Peace can be welcomed when we play a card game with our siblings. Peace can be welcomed when we treat ourselves to a nutritious snack. Peace can be welcomed with a smile. Peace can be welcomed when we take a sweet nap. Peace can be welcomed by simply speaking the name of Jesus out loud.The peace of God is for you and me and all of us, His dear and beloved children. It can carry us toward hope even in these unprecedented times.Welcome it and see where it takes you.Let God Be God (Acha Mungu aitwe Mungu)Acheni Mungu aitwe Mungu is a Swahili phrase that means, ‘Let God be called God’s. At the end of the day, there is only so much we can do — and the rest is up to God. No, you won’t always be OK. No, you won’t always boldly claim your agency in the midst of the things out of your control. No, you won’t always remember to welcome the peace that is offered to you at every moment. It’s bound to happen — these are uncharted waters for all of us, after all. BUT EVEN IN UNSETTLED WATERS, YOU CAN FIND FISH!