is amazing. I am always amazed and humbled by how much can shift in a year. 2020 has
been, without a doubt the most challenging time in my life (so far), but I can truly say it was
also a blessing in many way through many people. I learned a lot this year, many time, the
hard way, about myself, identity, career and relationships…Among other things.
When I am using my snap chat and I see my handsome image with my new look with beards
growing making me look like a mzee (old man), I feel good and same time I feel younger,
and maybe that is why I confuse during my birthday morning mass when I was asked my age
and I said 32. I look young and I behave young, but I have ‘my legs handing in the grave’. I
know I will lose few friends because of my age and looks, but who care. Jesus loves me the
way I look, my mum will trade a ransom for me, just as I am.
With 2020 I have come to realisation that the media tends to portray leaning life experiences
and lessons as simple, beautiful epiphanies, pretty Pinterest quotes and happily-ever after
experiences. But watch out, the roads are hot and the bushes along the way very thorny. In
reality, life’s most powerful lessons can only be learned and understood through layers of
pain, failure, humility and changes. I am appreciating that and taking it as a way forward,
keep moving towards the goal no matter what.
Every day is a birthday; I really believe that. Deep inside, I am convinced about that, I truly
believe that I should be celebrating life each and every day. I am also convinced that I should
celebrate the lives of those I love each and every day. Life should never be take for granted;
life is not a given, it a blessing, real blessing.
This year, my birthday come with what in Swahili would be called “vishindo” excitement.
One gift that I will always cherish, treasure and love is the gift of brotherhood. I woke up
around 5am to use the bathroom and when I come back still sleepy, this baby brother of mine
just bust from behind the door to sing for me happy birthday and gave me tight hug. That was
emotional, I have never had surprise on my birthday, not to talk about the gift part. This year,
WhatsApp took the “floor” I was so blessed to be remembered by a lot of friends that went
out of their ways to text me, send me voice notes singing, gave a call and above all, I was on
their status for 24hours. I got a bottle of wine early in the morning. I also went out with the
brothers to a friend who invited us for goat eating, and that would be a different story to tell
because it was a blast. It was amazing day. My spiritual director was there, he got me a cake,
and something that have never received since I come to this place. It was just a blessing to be
among brothers who are in the same mission as I am. I am so happy to be here, I mean
Jamaica. My family back home are never exited of birthdays, especially for a big man like
me, so I did not get a lot of wishes neither was I expecting. But with those who took time to
text and call, they reminded me how beautiful life is, and how much I matter to them. Life is
and was truly good.
28th December every year should be spiritually a moment for me to reflect; most time I really
don’t because of the excitement of the day, but later in the week I do seat down and go through the year. With reflections comes both gifts and challenges. It was a day to not only
remember the many losses that are imprinted on my heart; but to celebrate my very life. 2020
birthday was no easy, but that is okay. While having fun, my sister called and said mommy
was not well and she was taken by one of my elder sister to see a doctor. That tried to ruin my
day, but I got few shots to blind my heart, but I could not.
Anyway; in order to grow we sometimes we need to reflect.
Accepting the reality of life and reaching for dreams takes work, hard work. When you admit
your dreams, you are also admitting that there are things you want and areas that you are
falling short that you need to work on. I also thought to myself that there are things I wish to
have in my life that some I will get and others I will not, and that is okay, if I admit it.
Ultimately, reflection can be a gift you give yourself.
Few things I have learned the past year with its pandemic includes……even though my voice
matters, and I want not to silence when I have something to say, it is good to say it to myself
and voice to Jesus, because even those you think are listening, those who ought to listen and
those who pretend to listen have issues they want someone to listen but they don’t and above
every one of them, they will be the very persons to fail you.
When life is busy, I still need to take time for the things I love. Being a good friend means
being more present than I have been over the past years. It is time to learn my guitar, play it
and sing, may be record a song by the end of the year. I need to do something that makes my
soul sing, and if it sings well, I will have prayed twice.
My life has not been so smooth, but now it is time to embrace it in full swing. If I want to be
creative, in my writing, in my cooking, baking and music, I have to find time to embrace the
journey of scepticism from not only those who surround me, but from myself too. I can stop
my addictions and above all my habitual sin. Yes! Stop top them….. like for good.
Judas are good for my spiritual life, and I need to appreciate those who become Judaism, and
situations that turn to be Judas in my life and take time to learn their character and appreciate
them, learn from the situations that cross my life.
Additionally, moving through my short-comings is humbling, but also it is necessary. I am
alive! Yes … But living it fully means I embrace all parts of my being, honestly to God, to
those around me and to my very self.
This New Year for me, I want to live the words of the scripture that the Lord will bless and
keep me. That I will let His face shine upon me, and He be gracious to me. May He be able to
look upon me kindly and give me peace, and as Joe Laur always tell his friends on their
birthdays, may I be able to “Dream Big, Dance Hard, Laugh Loud, Love Deep, and Live
Long.”
JLucas (ONE LOVE ONE HEART) 
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